My room smells like vodka and shame
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
