she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
how does that bad decision feel?
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Randomize
