Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
