in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize
