He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Randomize
