im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
