come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
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I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
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How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
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