I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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