google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
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