Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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