i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
