Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
