and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
