covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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