I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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