Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
well you can't waste a boner
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
