if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
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