PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Can vaginas get frostbite?
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
