he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
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