just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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