Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
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