i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
