You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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