I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
