You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
