My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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