Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
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