Please, let me fuck your mom
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
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