put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
