No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
