Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
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