well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
Randomize
