i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
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