Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
she peed on how many people?
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
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