Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Randomize
