it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Randomize
