did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
