I wish I could teleport
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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