she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
