if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
