Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
