I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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