Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Randomize
