i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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