Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
