I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
