Your tits are I can't wait for
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
