we're chasing vodka with high fives
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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