Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
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