and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
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