And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
