Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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