Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize