I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
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