If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize