none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
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