i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
You're like the curious george of whores
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
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