ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
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