I am puke
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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