You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize