Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
