Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Randomize
