she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Randomize
