I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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