so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
