I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Randomize
